I know I haven't blogged in over a month. It's not because I haven't had anything to blog about- I do and it's funny how I see my life more interesting when I look at a situation I'm going through and think "How would I blog about this?"
Oh the many ideas I've had, and the drafts that never posted- because on my bad days I can't concentrate enough to make sense, and on my better days I try to accomplish something or better yet try to have lunch with a friend, which uses my ENTIRE day to accomplish since showering, getting dressed and putting on makeup are now considered entriely sepererate events in my life. Add going out of the house and having fun chit chat? Well..that is enough to send me to bed for the rest of the day (but well worth it!).
But as of right now at this moment I'm sitting here at a car dealership with my husband, and I'm waiting to see the financial manager to purchase a car.
My pain level is about a 7 today in my legs so I'm doing a dance in my chair with my restless achy legs while waiting, so I decided to keep my mind occupied by blogging while my husband is chatting and getting us a good deal.
I've decided to buy a car instead of leasing like I have since I now have a mechanically inclined husband to keep the car maintained, and well.. I don't know if or when I will ever get well enough to go to work and at this point I'm considered homebound.
I basically only leave the house for doctor appointments or when assisted with someone else to go to church or the store if needed. So I don't drive many miles and buying a nice used car is smart.
I had to laugh out loud when we were checking out the car and when my husband opened the trunk, my first instinctual question I asked was "Will my wheelchair fit back there?" .
I haven't had to use my wheelchair yet, but knowing it's in the trunk of my car if I need it gives me less stress going places.
I guess laughed because I realized how quickly my priorities have changed. Three years ago when looking for a car it was questions about the stereo and sunroof. I thought thinking about a wheelchair was for 30years down the road.
Yep, I think I am in a new phase of life.
With grown kids and my current health I now look at a car totally different. I'd rather not have to look at trunk features for space for a wheelchair, or safety features for me like Onstar so I don't have to mess with my mapquest phone app or GPS anymore.
I must admit I get lost some days going to the Dr I see every month if I take a different route due to construction or something- in the area I've lived my entire life!!That's why I don't drive much anywhere anymore even on my better "pain days". The brain fog and the chronic fatigue are sometimes the most debilitating part of my illness.
But I must admit then I got super excited when I saw the emergency button for Onstar. That will make me feel more secure too.
It's scary when I can leave the house feeling good, and knowing within seconds a blanket of pain, nausea and almost a drunk feeling can come over me.
I'm getting better at knowing when those days can happen, and will try to get someone to drive me. Then I usually drive them crazy as I chit-chat non stop until I get too exhausted toget the words out the right way (I start mixing up words) .
Which reminds me I should finish my draft about verbally throwing up on people when I've been alone all day and not out of the house for a week.
Well I just signed the papers for the new used car. It's a Pontiac Vibe GT for those of you who may wonder.
As soon as I hopped in the driver seat I knew this was my car. It has all the features I wanted-and more- and when all the controls and the overall feel of the car were the same as my current Camry SE, I was love with it.
I told my husband I'm going to get it decked out with 'Hello Kitty' seat covers. (To prevent him from driving MY car everywhere since he really liked it too). LOL I was kidding him. ..I think. I dunno. This is kinda pukish cute. It's like driving a real live barbie car. Oooohhh. barbie theme...
Anyways, I still have my lease car for another month so we are taking it back home too. So that means I need to drive 50 minutes home.
We have been here at the dealership for almost 4 hours now, and I'm not sure if I'm well enough to take the car home.
We are going to grab a bite to eat and then I have to see how I feel. Usually some food for energy and a sugary coke to drink will perk me up.
Worse case scenario, we have to leave one of the cars and my husband will come back later with someone.
Well lunch was delicious. I think my sugar may get messed up from the medicines I take if I skip a meal. I made it home with no problem and enjoyed driving my new car, although as I was following my husband in my old car that I will be turning in soon, I was sad too. I loved that car and it was the first time ever at the end of a lease I didn't want to turn it in for something newer and greater. (Yet I don't love it enough to buy it for 5 more years!)
It is just like my life.
I loved the road I was on and the life I had a couple years ago. Sometimes I get sad when I think about it, yet I'm so happy in so many ways with the newer version of me and this new adventurous road I'm on.
Want to know the best part of my new path?
I'm learning to stop and enjoy all the beautiful people, places and things in life everyday. (Even when I'm having a bad day and I'm stuck at home). Because of that-If I were to pass away tomorrow, I have no regrets. Many wishes and dreams, but no regrets.
Luckily for me I have awesome doctors so that won't be happening anytime soon from my illness- but it's a great feeling to be complete in that way.
Yeah, deep thoughts from buying a car, huh?
Now it's time to sleep. The day at the dealership exhausted me. My brain is mush and my body feels like I ran a marathon ...then tripped and fell tiredly into the street.. and then a truck came by and ran me over. No joke- but it was a great day!
